Gas Station #1

I know we talked about this one before hand, but I wanted to get it written down for template purposes.

Gas Station

EXT. GAS STATION MORNING.

We have a head on look at JOE EVERYMAN pumping gas and sighing as he stares just below the camera (ostensibly at the total dollars adding up ever so quickly).  A voice from off screen to our left makes him jump.  GUY SMILEY always interrupts JOE before he can answer completely and never pays attention to his answers anyway.  The name of the gas company is always bleeped out and the gas station logo is fuzzed out, but in such a way that it is obvious to the savvy viewer which one they’re talking about.

GUY SMILEY

(Off screen)

Hi There!  Guy Smiley from the (mumbled out) company!

JOE EVERYMAN

Umm, hel..

Camera pans out to GUY SMILEY and his own camera man who rudely waves a fifty dollar bill  in JOE's face.  From here on in the camera switches arbitrarily from the quality wide shot to the less stable lower quality shot taken from GUY’s Camera.

GUY SMILEY

Wonderful!  Tell me?  Do you think we could have a moment of your time for $50?

JOE EVERYMAN

…Okay…

GUY SMILEY puts the money into his shirt pocket without permission

GUY SMILEY

So first of all, judging from your clothes I’m going to say you earn $50,000 a year!

JOE EVERYMAN

I think that’s kind of personal…

GUY SMILEY

That puts your rate of taxation at about 32%

A pie chart imposed upon an unhappy (smiley) face pops up on the bottom corner of the screen titled “Working Stiff” that shows 32% of the pie going to taxes.

JOE EVERYMAN

(sighing)

That sounds about right…

GUY SMILEY

(beaming)

Do you know how much tax this gas company…

GUY’s camera pans upwards towards the corporate insignia

GUY SMILEY (Cont.)

…Pays in tax?  Well do ya?

JOE EVERYMAN

More?  (GUY nods to the negative)  The same?

GUY SMILEY

Hah!  We pay 11% taxes on our gross income!  Just 11%!  In fact, Canada has the lowest corporate tax rate in the G8!

Guy pauses for a beat as a new beaming Smiley faced pie chart titled “Good ‘Ole Corporate Canada” appears beside the old chart displaying 11%.

JOE EVERYMAN

Fuck off.  Is that true?

JOE is frozen in disbelief.  Having finished his gas pumping, he holds the pump in midair pointing it towards GUY.  Guy wraps his arm around JOE and gives him a light condescending squeeze and ruffles up his hair.

GUY SMILEY

I guess what I’m trying to say is.   On behalf of my company …

Again GUY’s camera pans up to the logo

GUY SMILEY (CONT.)

… that made over $(X) in profit this last year alone, thanks for lightening our load!  Keep up the good work big guy!

JOE frowns and pulls the trigger on the gas pump, soaking GUY in gasoline.  They both look down at the mess, look up at eachother, and back down at the mess.  As the gas continues to pump GUY frowns and JOE grins and nods a trite affirmative. 

JOE EVERYMAN

Anytime friend

Fin